Monday, February 27, 2017

I am not a poet

I am not a poet
I am not a poet because poetry does not come naturally to me
I have to put my blood, sweat and tears to write a piece and just like in every other facet of my life, I hate the fact that I have to work for it

I am not a poet
I am not a poet because I am unoriginal, inauthentic and disingenuous
I don’t think there is a single thought that crosses my mind that is not a fabrication of the society I live in, the media, my acquaintances, my friends and my family

I am not a poet
I am not a poet because I did not have to struggle to get to where I am today
I was born to an upper middle class family in a country laced with poverty and had a supportive childhood until my dad became a diplomat and ended up here
My struggle is not real

I am not a poet
I am not a poet because on my regular sleepless nights, I sometimes wish for a tragedy
Sadness seems to be more interesting than this perpetual boredom I am stuck in and more than anything else, tragedy sells
And I am trying to sell myself

I am not a poet because I am a fraud and I know it
But it’s too good to throw it all away, anyone would do the same
And I’ve got ‘em going, and I am careful not to show it
Sometimes I even fool myself a bit, it’s like magic

I am not a poet because I plagiarized the last two lines directly from my favourite Gotye song

I am not a poet
I am not a poet because I am all skin and no flesh
Before my ex and I started dating, when she was still my best friend, she told me that she loves it when artists break up because that is usually when they produce their best work
When she broke up with me to start a relationship with my best friend, she and I sat down beside the stinky, dried up canal and laughed at how we should both be inspired now

Wait was that me calling myself an artist?
This is why I am not a poet
A hipster isn’t a hipster as soon as they call themselves a hipster right?

I am not a poet because I victimise myself
I am not a poet because my parents work hard for their money and I blow it all away on alcohol and marijuana
I am not a poet because in front of unassuming strangers, I spread my legs
I am not a poet because maybe from their perspective, they see me spread my wings instead

I am not a poet
I am not a poet because…
             
             Fuck maybe I am a poet
             Maybe that is all I have
             Maybe that is all I am
                           
                            What does it mean to be a poet anyway?

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